Sunday, August 29, 2010
Today is definitely a great day! Although these few days is quite tiring and a bit painful for me (due to gastric problems) but afterall it is still a great time(:
I managed to leave some of my time to queue today! But I didn't really queue la, cause I have to make the banner for Huahui. But at least I managed to find the time to queue! I am so happy. Next is the smile that I saw! Huahui seems to be very happy when she received the card and I really feel very good! I am so so so happy!
In total, everything was fine until the trip back home. My friends are very concerned about me and offered to send me home, because they know that I have been constantly being harassed all those stupid and idiotic stalker out there. But I really don't want to make them worry and I don't want to bother them. Everyone seems to be very tired after the long day and it is definitely not their responsibility to escort me home! I am a big girl now and I don't want people to get worry because of me.
So I rejected the offer and despite the fact of one of my friend wanted to take money from the rest of my cellgroup members to allow me to hire a cab home, I actually threw my temper at him. Just because he told the rest about the stalker things. I felt so annoyed when he told everyone about this thing as I feel that but doing so, he will only make everyone worry, which is not what I want! But it doesn't mean anymore. Everything has been cleared out.
At first, I thought that by going home on my own will put everyone at ease. But how wrong I am. I will only make people even more worried when I reject their offer. Come to think again, how much people have I rejected through this few years? I always wanted to be a strong girl and handle my own problem, I have been rejecting people's offer for I only want to be the person that cares for others but not the reverse way. But this seems to be wrong. I could probably feel how these people when I rejected their offer!
I am still figuring out whether is it right or wrong to be strong.Will not relying on others actually make me stronger? But I really doesn't want to rely on others, I want to be independent. But why am I always making people worry? I know that relying on others will lead to habit and thus, I doesn't want to start this habit. I understand that there may not be a fixed answer to everything and thus, maybe I should start to adjust my beliefs again and perhaps, I should start to rely on others a bit so as prevent myself from keeping every unhappiness within me(:
1:53 AM
